Funeral Facts
Your options: defined.
This page outlines standard and not-so-common options for funeral, memorial, and celebration of life services, options for final places of rest, and more. With our tools, personal support, and network of resources, we are here to support you throughout this phase of life, no matter where you are in the process. Contact us anytime.
Disclaimer: Our goal is to educate. We are not providing legal advice, and this information pertains only to Massachusetts.
When a Death Occurs
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The first thing to do once someone has died is to do nothing. Take some moments to breathe, be with your beloved, and embrace the silence and stillness. Once a third party is notified or news spreads, it can feel like an intense wave of action and tasks, so please try to take a few moments to just be.
Selecting a funeral home is the first step if you have not done so already. Many people choose to use one they are already familiar with, but one locally or conveniently located to where the deceased person’s life was based is a good option. When you notify a funeral home of a death, that is a “first call”. You don’t have to make the call yourself and can ask a friend or family member to do so on your behalf. You will be asked to provide basic information, such as the decedent’s name, age, where they are currently located, and if you are ready for the funeral home to bring the decedent into their care. The funeral home usually arrives within one hour, and during their visit, they will most likely ask you some other basic questions such as if the decedent is going to be prepared for viewing (a polite way to ask for permission to embalm), which can be time sensitive and verbal or written permission is required to proceed, and when you want to come to the funeral home to make arrangements. Not every funeral home operates the same way, but all should allow you to be as involved or not involved with preparing the decedent for transfer into their care as you would like to be (helping to move the body, push the cot, etc.). You may need to speak up, as they may not ask. Read our section on Working with a Funeral Home for more on this.
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If the death has occurred in hospice or under medical care, that team will guide you through the immediate next steps. If your loved one is terminal, there is a good chance you have already been advised to begin to consider end-of-life planning and funeral services by someone on the medical care team.
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An “unattended death” means that the deceased was alone at the time of death and was not under hospice care. Their death may be accidental, intentional, or unexpected due to an unknown illness. The first call you make must be to 9-1-1 and do not move the body. Once the Police and EMS are on-site, they will notify the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner who will either accept or deny the case based on the individual’s health history, manner of death, and other factors. If the OCME accepts the case, the body will be transported by the Coroner, an investigation will be performed (not necessarily an autopsy), and then the body will be released to the funeral home. During the investigation, you will meet with a funeral director, and begin planning services. The next-of-kin or other authorized agent will be responsible for making these arrangements.
Wrapping up Affairs
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Working with a Funeral Home
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Planning a Service
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There are endless possibilities when it comes to end-of-life services. You are probably familiar with a traditional funeral mass or a graveside commital service, but there are many more options that fit the unique wishes of every individual. The basic types of service categories are a funeral (the body is present), memorial services (an urn of cremated remains or no body is present), and a celebration of life (no body is present, sometimes held much later after death).
Services can be held in a place of worship, at the funeral home, a restaurant, a private residence, a social club, a park, etc. A celebrant is not required but highly recommended, as they will bring structure to the ceremony. Funeral directors can also be on-site outside of the funeral home to direct the service and take the stress off the family to do so themselves.
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No matter the religious or spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof), the main elements that make up all services include words of remembrance (formerly known as eulogies), readings (passages, poems, etc.), and music.
Think about what made your person unique. What were some of their favorite things and shared memories? Ask the people closest to them to participate in the service by saying a few words, sharing a memory, doing a reading, etc. It can be a wonderful way to honor their relationship. We will be sharing ideas about writing words of remembrance in our blog.
Final Disposition Options
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One of the most important decisions that needs to be made is what to do with a body after death. The most common options include earth burial, cremation, and entombment, but there are other dispositions emerging in popularity, including green/natural burial, alkaline hydrolysis, and even burials at sea. Some may choose to give their entire body to science or donate organs or tissues. In these cases, as well as for cremation, what will be done with the ashes needs to be considered. Will they be buried, scattered, or kept in an urn?
Another important consideration is if having a place to visit a dearly departed is important to you. Where this is may be defined differently for everyone, but if ashes are scattered at sea, for example, then that body of water is the final resting place. Is that what you want or would you rather visit a gravesite in a cemetery? There is no right or wrong answer, but the questions should be asked.
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Visit our Final Disposition page for detailed information about these options.
Additional Considerations
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Disclaimer: Our goal is to educate. We are not providing legal advice. These are only the laws in Massachusetts.
You do not need to use a Funeral Director.
Caring for your own dead can be immensely rewarding and help ease the pain of grief. It is also emotionally demanding, and, because of the widespread misunderstanding of the law in Massachusetts, it can be difficult. The law clearly permits persons to care for their own dead.
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The FTC protects consumers' rights through the Funeral Rule.
Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, consumers have the right to get a general price list from a funeral provider when they ask about funeral arrangements. They also have the right to choose the funeral goods and services they want (with some exceptions), and funeral providers must state this right on the general price list. If state or local law requires purchase of any particular item, the funeral provider must disclose it on the price list, with a reference to the specific law. The funeral provider may not refuse, or charge a fee, to handle a casket bought elsewhere, and a provider offering cremations must make alternative containers available.
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There are natural burial options in Massachusetts.
Caring for your own dead can be immensely rewarding and help ease the pain of grief. It is also emotionally demanding, and, because of the widespread misunderstanding of the law in Massachusetts, it can be difficult. The law clearly permits persons to care for their own dead.
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Embalming became popular during the Civil War.
Under the FTC’s Funeral Rule, consumers have the right to get a general price list from a funeral provider when they ask about funeral arrangements. They also have the right to choose the funeral goods and services they want (with some exceptions), and funeral providers must state this right on the general price list. If state or local law requires purchase of any particular item, the funeral provider must disclose it on the price list, with a reference to the specific law. The funeral provider may not refuse, or charge a fee, to handle a casket bought elsewhere, and a provider offering cremations must make alternative containers available.
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Death Certificates are public records.
Death certificates are public record, and can be requested by anyone at the city or town clerks office.
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How to Obtain an Autopsy Report (must be authorized or NOK)
A set order exists for who is considered Next of Kin.
Degrees of kinship are used to identify heirs at law in the “next of kin” category ONLY if there are no members in the first four groups of heirs: (1) surviving spouse, (2) children and their descendants, (3) parents, and (4) brothers/sisters and their descendants.
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